Holiday Craziness

My fibro always takes a turn for the worse every December. It's probably a combination of things: the weather growing colder and damper, eating too much sugar, the stress of all the extra things to be done and the lack of time to properly take care of myself. Every year I cut more and more things out of my holiday to-do list and every year I still find myself feeling stressed, out of balance and in pain. 

I decided this year was going to be different. I cut my holiday to-do list down to the bare minimum, I started doing yoga every day, I bought The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook and some massage tools and I was making great progress on working out my trigger points and reducing my pain. Also, I had my new office, a private, quiet place of my own to retreat from the noise and chaos of the kids. My plan for a better holiday season was going great. 

Then, last Friday, the valve under my bathroom sink exploded and both upstairs bathrooms, our bedroom, my office (which is underneath the bathroom) and part of the garage flooded. Since then, we've had these big noisy fans and dehumidifiers running 24/7 and we had to have the bathroom floors, part of our bedroom floor and the ceiling to my office torn out. My whole routine has been turned upside down, nothing is where it should be and every day contractors have to come out and check the drying process or tear something else out. All my self care techniques have been lost in the craziness. I have lost my areas of sanctuary. I have nowhere to go to get away from the TV that all males have to have blasting at all times, whether they're watching it or not. 

Now, it's two weeks until Christmas and I haven't bought a single present, sent a single card or put up a single decoration. Am I feeling healthy, balanced and peaceful like I planned. Hell, no! My mind is so scattered I can't hold it together enough to complete the simplest of tasks and every day the pain creeps back more and more. 

I'm very sad about this. Why does every holiday season have to be like this? It's like since I decided to not participate in all the frenzied craziness, the frenzied craziness just finds its way into my life in another way. 

I might be able to pull it together once the fans are out of here. But that's not going to be today. The guy is here checking them now and he's not unplugging any of them. Now is one of those times that I really, really wish I could be like a normal person, completely not bothered or effected by noise and chaos. But you know how it is with fibro. Every noise is like a rake running across every nerve in your body. And, because of the fog, having things out of their place makes everything that much more difficult. Operating on auto pilot when your mind has checked out just isn't possible under these circumstances. 

So, once again, I find myself wishing the holidays would just be over already so there would be less to deal with. And I don't want to feel that way! Really, truly I don't. 

The Depressing Truth about MSG

First of all, I apologize for not posting for so long again. I've been in a creative funk lately. I'm afraid that the cognitive impairment that comes along with fibro has made me into a worse writer than I was before. I can't remember how to use commas most of the time, I use the same words over and over and I can't remember what some words mean. Also, I can't seem to stay focused on my topic or make the points I want to make. *sigh* I really have my doubts about whether I'll every be able to achieve my dream of writing and publishing a book, thanks to stupid fibro.

Anyhow, while I was already wallowing in these depressing thoughts, I ran across a couple of websites about MSG. Let me tell ya, this did nothing to improve my feelings of hopelessness!

I've long heard that MSG and artificial sweeteners, particularly aspartame, are bad, bad, bad and should be avoided but I never did any research to find out why. The immediate and intense pain that followed the consumption of aspartame was enough to convince me that I should stay away from it.  Even just a small amount of aspartame leaves me with a horrible headache and intense "phantom" pains in my extremities. The effects of MSG aren't as dramatic for me though. Sometimes I eat it and seem to be just fine. Other times I feel like it works with salt to make me retain water, feel generally yucky all over and have aching in my hips, shoulders and joints.

I finally ran across an article that said that aspartame and MSG are both excitotoxins that act on the nervous system. Now, I'm no doctor or scientist, but knowing that my nervous system is already overexcited and out of whack, avoiding anything called an excitotoxin seemed like a good idea. I did my best to avoid items that had MSG listed as an ingredient. But, when I'm in my PMS food craving stage, it seems like I actually crave food that has MSG in it, such as cheese flavored potato chips.

And, unfortunately, my willpower was very weak during my last PMS food craving stage and I gave in to it. I ate some Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles and I've been paying for it for almost two weeks now. I puffed up with fluid that just won't go away and I'm having terrible aching in my hips and shoulders and my arms ache and go to sleep almost every night. Plus, I feel...polluted, like there is gunk in between all the cells of my body. This prompted me to do some more research on MSG.

These are the two websites I visited: http://www.msgtruth.org/ and http://www.msgmyth.com/

From what I read, it doesn't seem like my reaction to MSG is typical. What was depressing about it though is the list of foods to avoid. (Found here:  http://www.msgtruth.org/avoid.htm )  Food companies are putting MSG in everything! Pretty much every time we eat we're poisoning our body and nervous system.

Upon first reading this information, I wasn't sure whether I should just lay down and die because I could never survive on nothing but brown rice and organic veggies (that's mostly whats on the elimination diet at msgtruth suggests) or, just drown myself in a bag of Sour Cream and Cheddar ruffles because there's no way to avoid this stuff anyway.

After reflecting on this for a day or two, I decided to print out a list of all the hidden names of MSG and avoid foods that have them. The website says that all milk except whole milk has MSG of some form but my Organic Valley nonfat milk doesn't list MSG by any name so I'm going to trust they don't put it in there. Maybe this is naive of me but I think a moderate approach to this MSG thing is probably best. Trying to avoid every food that might have it because some website says so seems a bit too extreme for me.  I'm for sure going to try to large amounts of it which, sadly, means not eating out often. Applebee's and Taco Bell were two places suspected of using a lot of MSG and I have noticed I sometimes feel yucky after eating there, even when I have something relatively healthy at Applebee's.

Below is the list of the hidden names of MSG that contain the highest amounts. I recognize a lot of ingredients on products that I thought to be safe!

MSG	Gelatin	Calcium Caseinate
Monosodium glutamate	Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein (HVP)	Textured Protein
Monopotassium glutamate	Hydrolyzed Plant Protein (HPP)	Yeast Extract
Glutamate	Autolyzed Plant Protein	Yeast food or nutrient
Glutamic Acid	Sodium Caseinate	Autolyzed Yeast
Vegetable Protein Extract	Senomyx (wheat extract labeled as artificial flavor)

What about you? Do you noticed reactions to aspartame and MSG? How do they affect you?

This Rollercoaster called Fibromyalgia...........or is it just life???

Sometimes I wonder if all that I go through is mostly from the fibromyalgia or if it is just life itself. I mean I never really have "highs" but my lows are pretty far down there. Sure, depression is a part of it. How can it not be when you feel like crap all the time? But there's more to it than that. So much more. For example, some days I can get out of bed, walk to the living room or kitchen, study a little maybe or just chill out. Other days I'm in so much pain that I can't EVEN get out of bed and if I do make it to another room, that's as far as I'm going for the rest of the day. Pain is my main reason for these issues. It's relentless, unyielding and downright heartbreaking. I realize that "if I'd just exercise more I'd feel better altogether", but that's a heck of a lot easier said than done. Especially when you can't move because of the horrible pain you're ALREADY in. Don't even get me started on the pain I feel when I do exercise. Well I say exercise, it's really nothing more than stretching or walking. And most of my walking is done at places that are air conditioned like Walmart or the mall. Who am I kidding.........I can't go to the mall and walk, my back is far too bad for that. So I walk in Walmart as far as I can and then have to get a scooter to take me out of the store and to the car.
But is any of this actually caused from the fibro? I mean would I be in this condition even if I DIDN'T have fibromyalgia? I guess we'll never know because it's not like I can get rid of any of the conditions I have. Fibro, AS, Sjrogens, Back pain, etc., etc., etc..........
I wish I could snap a finger and everything be ok again. Oh that's right..........it's never been ok. I've always had these symptoms, just not this bad. For those of you who suffer right along there with me, I feel your pain..........quite literally! I feel so bad for those people who say that their worst symptom is the fibro fog. I really do. It's horrible. But sometimes I wish that my fibro fog would block my pain. Instead it's as if I'm lost in a mindless, worthless issuance of pain from head to toe and deep within to my Psyche. What to do? What to do?
Am I ever positive? Rarely I believe. And I ramble on and on, don't I? Well, I'll just blame it on the fibromyalgia.........again! But sad to say, it's probably the true cause.
I'll never give up though. I've got too much that I want to accomplish somehow. Even if it's just from my bedroom or recliner. How's the saying go, "What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger!"

Fighting the Fibrofog

Warning: This post is sure to fairly incoherent because I am under the influence of fibrofog today. 

Out of the awful trio of categories of fibromyalgia symptoms (pain, fatigue and fibrofog), I'd have to say that the fibrofog is the one I hate the most. Even if I'm tired and/or in pain, I still feel like myself. Not so with the fibrofog. I feel totally disconnected from myself and everyone and everything else. Severe fog days are the worst days I have. I absolutely hate feeling this way. I find it hard to believe that people take drugs wanting to feel like they are drifting outside of themselves like this. I think it's an awful feeling, one I would go to great lengths to avoid if I knew how.

What makes it even worse is that I haven't found a single thing to help with it. Once I have it, the day is shot for me. Nothing I do seems to make it any better. Sometimes, it seems to lift a little bit after dark but maybe it just seems that way because by that time I've given up on trying to do anything. At least with pain I can take a pain reliever or sit on the heating pad. With fatigue, I can rest. Nothing seems to lessen the fog.

I've also been unable to figure out what triggers it, for the most part. Flareups with pain and fatigue usually follow a weather change, a day of overdoing it or a time of stress. Sometimes these flareups have fog and sometimes they don't.

Sadly, almost all advice for fighting fibrofog consists of tips on living with it and dealing with it, not preventing it or making it go away. A google search of "how to combat fibrofog" turned up a whole page of posts almost identical to this one: http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/memory_tips.html  Sure, these are good tips for living with it but I don't want to live with it. I want it to go away. Something causes it, therefore something must cure it.

The only thing I've discovered that consistently causes my fibrofog is sleeping in. (Although it's not the only cause - I have plenty of fog days even when I get up early)  Sometimes I can get away with sleeping after 8:00 but not usually. Sleeping until 9:00 or later always causes a bout of fibrofog for me. Cloudy days in summer are another thing that triggers fibrofog, which may be because I sleep later than I normally would because it's so dark out. I know, there's an easy fix for that - set my alarm clock! And that I will be doing more religiously for the remainder of the summer. I do not want another day like this one.

How about you? Have you discovered any triggers or helps for fibrofog?

This Gives Me a Little Hope

Dr. Oz and Oprah are talking about fibromyalgia! That has to be a good thing, right? So many people don't believe any health info they get unless it comes from Oprah or Dr. Oz, so maybe this will help convince some of those doubters that think this is all in our heads.

You can listen to Dr. Oz's interview with Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum right here and you can click the links listed below to read more short articles by Dr. Oz.

I was hoping for some suggestions of things to try right now because I am dead-ass tired, despite my B-12 and CoQ10 supplementation. But, alas, there wasn't anything of that nature in the articles or the interview. But what listening to the interview and reading the articles did give me is hope. Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum believes there will be a test for fibromyalgia within a few years and that treatments will follow. How great would that be?

Dr. Oz talks about 4 treatments for fibromyalgia here.

There is more about treating fibro here.

And here's a link to Dr. Teitelbaum's book, From Fatigued to Fantastic, right here. I'm going to order it! I'm tired of fatigued.

Two Supplements for Increased Energy

I am so tired of being tired.

Fatigue has been an on and off kind of thing for me for the past ten years. I go through spells of being very, very tired and spells of feeling pretty okay, as long as I don't overdo it. At least I used to. For the last year and a half my fatigue has been a constant (and most unwelcome) companion.

A few weeks ago I decided that I was so tired of being tired that I had to do something, try something. So I drug myself down the road to Fred Meyer's natural food section to find something, anything that would help with energy.

I came away with a bottle of CoQ10 gummy chews (gummies because that's what was on sale - CoQ10 can be a bit expensive) and a packet of Healthy To Go Acai Energy drink packets:

The combination has helped me some. I'm definitely functioning better than I was a month ago. The Acai Energy Boost drink has 500 mcg of vitamin B12 in it, so I'm thinking that's probably what helps with energy. It also tastes yummy and is sweetened with stevia - bonus! I've used CoQ10 before and I do think it helps and is worth trying, even if it is a bit spendy.

Also - I just ran across an article that talks about supplements to help with chronic fatigue syndrome. http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/conditionsatod/a/CFS.htm I might research and try some of these in the future because I am so tired of being tired.

Have you found anything that helps boost your energy? If so, share!

Do Any of These Foods Bother You?

I just read an on WebMD about which five foods someone with fibromyalgia should avoid. (The link is below) I've previously heard that these foods should be avoided but the only one I've noticed causing a flare is aspartame, or any kind of artificial sweetener. My pain usually is centered around the trigger points in my muscles but, if I eat anything with an artificial sweetener, I get a headache and horrible "phantom" pains that feel like they are in my bones.

http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-the-diet-connection?ecd=wnl_fib_070610

What about you? Have you noticed any of these foods triggering a flare or worsening your symptoms?

On a different note, I apologize for not blogging for such a long time and promise to do better, even if I just write short entries. We're all researching and finding different things that help or hinder and we definitely need to share our findings with one another.