Friday, January 28, 2011

Feeling Like Garbage

February is almost upon us and, for me, this means the most difficult time of year has arrived. I feel like garbage every single day. The weird, congested, achy, sick feeling across the middle of my back always flares up this time of year and it's the hardest pain for me to deal with. It doesn't go away when I sit down like my other pains and it's often accompanied by a feeling of sadness. It's a very heavy feeling that makes it very hard to get out of bed in the morning. In addition to that, my legs, hips, shoulders, arms and feet hurt and I'm having daily headaches AND more migraines again. Oh, and fatigue too. I can't forget the fatigue. I live in a split level house and having to go up and down those stairs a dozen times a day is exhausting. I feel like I need to lay down on the landing for awhile to get the strength to make it up the rest of the stairs. It's not fun. I wish I could just go to bed and not get up until this part of the year is over with.

And the hardest part? This could go on for months. Sometimes, I start feeling better in April but often feeling better doesn't start until May. Last year, it was July.

It's very hard to keep a positive attitude when faced with months and months of feeling like garbage. But I am determined  to stay positive and be happy this year. I don't want to be depressed, angry and bitter on top of being physically miserable.

I suppose the first step is to stay in the moment and take it day by day, instead of focusing on months of misery ahead. Maybe I'll feel better sooner this year. I do have some new tools in my fibro toolkit. I bought the The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook and I've had great success in treating my hip pain. I think the weird pain across my back may also be caused by trigger points so I'm working to figure out which ones so I can treat them too. And, I've discovered that doing a short, easy yoga routine every day helps reduce my pain levels.  I've also read some good, hope-inspiring  books about fibro lately which I'll share more about later because I'm tired now, which I'm sure you understand all too well!