Fibro and Massage

Massage is supposed to be a positive experience, right? I used to think so anyway. Sometimes, when I have a lot of muscle tension or painful trigger points, it's not the most pleasant experience but I always used to feel better afterward. Now? Not so much. At least not in the hours right after the massage.

For the last nine months or so, I feel very depressed after getting a massage, to the point where I just want to sit and cry. I have no idea what I want to cry about, I just feel really sad.  And, I find myself reaching for comfort food, which isn't something I don't do all that often.

I had a massage about 1:00 today and I've been feeling sad ever since, even though I felt pretty happy before. I wonder what causes this?

One theory about fibromyalgia is that people store unresolved emotions in the tissues of their body. My massage experience makes me wonder if this could be part of the picture. Massage detoxifies the body and releases toxins, it makes sense (to me) that it could also release emotional toxins.

I'm not sure what to do about this except drink extra fluids and take sea salt baths to help flush out the toxins. Massage does help me. If I go longer than a month without a massage I have more trouble with my arms and shoulders aching and my hands falling asleep at night. And just letting everything build up wouldn't be good either. When it comes to toxins, emotional or otherwise, I think of what Shrek says about gas, "better out than in, I say!"

Yes, I figure it's best to get all the pesky, troublesome toxins and emotions out, even it's temporarily uncomfortable. But that's probably because I do get a massage every month. If I hadn't had a massage for a long period of time, I would feel very apprehensive about how it might affect me. My very first massage caused the worst flare of my entire life. It was that flare that made me sick enough to get diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It was seven years ago but I still remember how miserable I was and how hard it was just to stay awake to watch my kids. At the time, if I would have made the connection to massage, I wouldn't have had the courage to get another one. Lucky for me, my second massage a couple of years later didn't bother me as much and they've just kept getting easier since them. Well, except for this weird emotional garbage I'm dealing with now.

What are your thoughts? Are you able to get massages? What happens when you do?

*While writing this, I realized I'm also getting a migraine. I don't know if it's related to the massage but I'm pretty sure it's affecting my ability to type and use language. Please forgive any errors or lack of coherence!

20 Things That Make Me Feel Better On Bad Pain Days

What are some things that make me feel better on bad pain days?

1. My Electric Blanket (the warmth is such a comfort).
2. A big , soft hug from my daughter.
3. My Bed (it's softness, yet firm, is the most comfortable place to lay).
4. Prayer (GOD always provides peace and comfort and lets me know I'm not alone).
5. Stretching (it seems to warm up my muscles and tissues, providing relief).
6. A Card or Letter from a friend.
7. Writing in my diary or blog (it helps me get off my chest all the feelings that are bottling up).
8. Take-out Food (no cooking!)
9. Talking to a Friend.
10. Believe it or not, SOMETIMES, gentle sex! (It takes my mind off the pain and provides some feel-good endorphines).
11. Creating something - crafts, pics, poems, etc... (It again takes my mind off the pain and makes me feel useful again).
12. Reading an Inspirational or Fiction book (It takes my mind off the pain and transports me to a different place mentally).
13. Making plans for when I have a GOOD day (It gives me something to look forward to).
14. A Nap (Pain is very exhausting!)
15. Buying something (inexpensive) for MYSELF (usually online as I can't get out of the house).
16. Chocolate, just a little! (Chocolate makes everything better!!! jk)
17. A long hot bubble bath (being surrounded in warmth & sweet scents is so comforting).
18. A Massage (it actually releases feel good endorphines!)
19. My little girl giving me one of her stuffed animals to comfort me.
20. Being held by my hubby as I try to go to sleep.

Can you think of some things that make YOU feel better on your bad days? I'd love to hear from you and get some ideas.
I know that some days NOTHING is going to make me feel better, but I have to keep trying because I have to keep living. The moment I give up, I might as well be dead! Because there's nothing worse than living a life without HOPE.
Gentle hugs to you.