Massage is supposed to be a positive experience, right? I used to think so anyway. Sometimes, when I have a lot of muscle tension or painful trigger points, it's not the most pleasant experience but I always used to feel better afterward. Now? Not so much. At least not in the hours right after the massage.
For the last nine months or so, I feel very depressed after getting a massage, to the point where I just want to sit and cry. I have no idea what I want to cry about, I just feel really sad. And, I find myself reaching for comfort food, which isn't something I don't do all that often.
I had a massage about 1:00 today and I've been feeling sad ever since, even though I felt pretty happy before. I wonder what causes this?
One theory about fibromyalgia is that people store unresolved emotions in the tissues of their body. My massage experience makes me wonder if this could be part of the picture. Massage detoxifies the body and releases toxins, it makes sense (to me) that it could also release emotional toxins.
I'm not sure what to do about this except drink extra fluids and take sea salt baths to help flush out the toxins. Massage does help me. If I go longer than a month without a massage I have more trouble with my arms and shoulders aching and my hands falling asleep at night. And just letting everything build up wouldn't be good either. When it comes to toxins, emotional or otherwise, I think of what Shrek says about gas, "better out than in, I say!"
Yes, I figure it's best to get all the pesky, troublesome toxins and emotions out, even it's temporarily uncomfortable. But that's probably because I do get a massage every month. If I hadn't had a massage for a long period of time, I would feel very apprehensive about how it might affect me. My very first massage caused the worst flare of my entire life. It was that flare that made me sick enough to get diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It was seven years ago but I still remember how miserable I was and how hard it was just to stay awake to watch my kids. At the time, if I would have made the connection to massage, I wouldn't have had the courage to get another one. Lucky for me, my second massage a couple of years later didn't bother me as much and they've just kept getting easier since them. Well, except for this weird emotional garbage I'm dealing with now.
What are your thoughts? Are you able to get massages? What happens when you do?
*While writing this, I realized I'm also getting a migraine. I don't know if it's related to the massage but I'm pretty sure it's affecting my ability to type and use language. Please forgive any errors or lack of coherence!