Before I start, I just want to say that I'm really feeling the effect of my fibro today. I'm in a lot of pain and the fibro fog is pretty serious, But I wanted to make this post today as it's been on my mind for several days now. So if anything doesn't make sense, feel free to ask questions......
Many times people (normal people) don't understand why we make such a big deal about having fibromyalgia, arthritis, etc..... whatever illness it is that has you down. The truth is they don't realize (and often even us sick people don't realize) how much of our life has been effected. A lot of times they think, OK, you're sick, so get on with your life already, but they have no idea just how much of our life has been taken away.
And for every part of our life that has been altered, we mourn it's loss. For example, not only am I sick and in pain 24 hours a day 365 days a year, I am also disabled from working. I really enjoyed working. I was a Workers Compensation Insurance Adjuster and I enjoyed helping people in need. So I not only mourn the loss of my health, I also mourn the loss of my job, my financial freedom, my independence........And the list goes on and on.
So people think, Oh, she doesn't work, she's got plenty of time to help us or do things with us, but therein comes my disability. I'm not only disabled from working a public job, but also from doing house hold chores and sometimes even to the extent of personal things. If I DID have the time to help, I don't have the ability to do it anymore.
When I lost my job, I also lost a lot of my friends. When I lost my ability to be really active in church I lost more friends and part of my source of entertainment. My sense of usefulness was wiped out.
But I'm just now realizing that I need to actually mourn each of these losses. I need to take the time out just to miss what I once had, so that I can move on with my life. It will never be the same, I can't say that it will ever even be good again as compared to what it was before. But if I can manage to 'kiss them goodbye' and then embrace life as it is now, I may be able to find new blessings in my life that may not have been there had I never gotten sick. One such blessing is that of my new Fibro Friends. They always understand what I'm going through now. They KNOW how to pray for me because they feel my pain. I would have never met them had I not been stricken with fibromyalgia and arthritis and migraine headaches. For them I am very thankful. I'm sure as life goes on I will realize other blessings GOD has given me to replace my losses, but it's only natural and healthy to mourn what you once had and lost.
If I could ask a favor of "normal" people it would be to give me time to get over my individual losses, help me see the new blessings in my life, but don't judge me because I'm having a hard time missing what I once had. Our lives have been virtually taken away and someones else life replaced it. It's still foreign to us. It takes a while to get used to this new life. And please, don't judge us because our life has changed. We didn't ask to get sick, but we accept it because we have no other choice. We have to live the life we're given, but we're not all dealt the same hand of cards and sometimes you have to fold and start all over again.