Wednesday, July 29, 2009

It's OK not to be OK!

I have to admit, I stole this line from someone else. A new friend I've just found who is so much like me it isn't funny! So now you know I'm a thief with fibromyalgia. And migraines.......did I mention the migraines? Well I've had one for 3 months now and there's no relief in sight. So if I write something stupid I'll blame it on the migraine.

But back to our topic........
What a blessing it was to hear this statement. Here I've been lamenting under the delusion that life has to be good, if not perfect~ but now I find out that I'm ok just being who I am. Seriously! What a load off!!!
See, my life with fibromyalgia is a living hell. I hurt at all times of the day, whether full body pain, partial body part pain or migraines. My brain barely functions any more.......I forget what I'm doing, I forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and sometimes I just forget I am. Some days are worse than others of course. Take for example today and this whole week actually. We're in the midst of having major thunderstorms every night for a week. Actually, it's raining now and it's 8:00 in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the rain. I love how it sounds, and the smell afterwards. It's soothing to me. BUT, my body does NOT like the rain, or the humidity, or the electrical activity in the air. It all causes me extreme pain. Last night I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room because of the bodywide pain. It was unbearable! And not much better today, I might add. And I must admit that I was feeling pretty depressed about it all. I lament over not being able to play with my little girl, or not being able to cook supper, or not being able to clean my house. It forever plagues me. I feel like a loser (and I'm not talking about my diet now), a real loser. Because I can't do the things that "normal" people can do.
But what a pick me up it was to hear that statement, "It's OK not to be OK!". How much simplier can it be? All this time I'm struggling to be "normal" when really I'm ok just the way I am. I realized that there are more important things in the world than cooking supper, or cleaning house. Just spending time with my daughter is enough. I may have to be creative because I can't sit in the floor & play or go outside a lot of times, but it's going to be OK. At least she'll know i love her and want to be with her. And the dishes and house can wait. It'll still be there when I get around to doing it.........if I get to it. Many times it's my husband who gets to it. Thank GOD for a cleaning husband!!!
But I'm just now realizing that I'm not 2nd rate just because I'm sick. I still have lots to offer to this world. Lots to offer as a wife and mother, even if I'm not the best there is.
So as you go about your day today, and you're not perfect either, just remember, "It's OK not to be OK!"

1 comment:

Trisha Pearson said...

Great topic Teresa! I know much of what makes me unhappy or downright miserable is me trying to be "normal" and expecting myself to do all the things a "normal" person can do. I very rarely accept the fact that I'm not up to the things I had planned for the day and I never give myself permission to just take the day off and not accomplish anything, even when I desperately need to. I keep pushing, even when I'm not mentally clear enough to do what I'm trying to do and end up accomplishing nothing but making myself stressed and miserable. Learning that it's OK to not be OK is something I really need to do. Maybe I can learn from your example!

I'm so glad you can see that you do have a lot to offer the world because you really do. I live all the way across the country and just knowing you through the internet has made my life brighter.

Thank you for sharing this. I hope your next drs. appointment will be helpful in stopping your migraines.

BTW, if you gals don't like the new template, I'd be happy to change it. I wanted to pick one in a color that you both like, but you have completely opposite tastes in colors so I just went with one that was feminine and functional.