Holiday Craziness

My fibro always takes a turn for the worse every December. It's probably a combination of things: the weather growing colder and damper, eating too much sugar, the stress of all the extra things to be done and the lack of time to properly take care of myself. Every year I cut more and more things out of my holiday to-do list and every year I still find myself feeling stressed, out of balance and in pain. 

I decided this year was going to be different. I cut my holiday to-do list down to the bare minimum, I started doing yoga every day, I bought The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook and some massage tools and I was making great progress on working out my trigger points and reducing my pain. Also, I had my new office, a private, quiet place of my own to retreat from the noise and chaos of the kids. My plan for a better holiday season was going great. 

Then, last Friday, the valve under my bathroom sink exploded and both upstairs bathrooms, our bedroom, my office (which is underneath the bathroom) and part of the garage flooded. Since then, we've had these big noisy fans and dehumidifiers running 24/7 and we had to have the bathroom floors, part of our bedroom floor and the ceiling to my office torn out. My whole routine has been turned upside down, nothing is where it should be and every day contractors have to come out and check the drying process or tear something else out. All my self care techniques have been lost in the craziness. I have lost my areas of sanctuary. I have nowhere to go to get away from the TV that all males have to have blasting at all times, whether they're watching it or not. 

Now, it's two weeks until Christmas and I haven't bought a single present, sent a single card or put up a single decoration. Am I feeling healthy, balanced and peaceful like I planned. Hell, no! My mind is so scattered I can't hold it together enough to complete the simplest of tasks and every day the pain creeps back more and more. 

I'm very sad about this. Why does every holiday season have to be like this? It's like since I decided to not participate in all the frenzied craziness, the frenzied craziness just finds its way into my life in another way. 

I might be able to pull it together once the fans are out of here. But that's not going to be today. The guy is here checking them now and he's not unplugging any of them. Now is one of those times that I really, really wish I could be like a normal person, completely not bothered or effected by noise and chaos. But you know how it is with fibro. Every noise is like a rake running across every nerve in your body. And, because of the fog, having things out of their place makes everything that much more difficult. Operating on auto pilot when your mind has checked out just isn't possible under these circumstances. 

So, once again, I find myself wishing the holidays would just be over already so there would be less to deal with. And I don't want to feel that way! Really, truly I don't. 

Hypersensitivity to noise is making me crazy

One of the many things I hate about fibromyalgia is the hypersensitity to noise. I've been having so many migraines over the past month and I'm pretty sure it is from the stress of the constant noise around here. Even if I don't let the noise irritate me, I can feel myself tensing up when one of the annoying noises starts again.

Take this very second for instance. I drug my papa-san chair out to the deck so I could sit and write and the minute I sat down the neighbor boy started playing his drum set. He lives two houses down but it is SO LOUD he may as well have it set up on the deck right next to me, even though I am using my noise cancelling headphones. I can feel something tensing up in my head and I feel sure another migraine is going to come on.  I could take my chair back in the house, but then I'd hear the base from my husband's radio down in the garage. There's no escape. I just want to scream.

I know people think I'm terrible for wanting my kids (and the neighbor kids) back in school so badly. But dealing with loud noise every waking moment is driving me over the edge. Kids are loud and I can't help it, the noise gets to me and fries my nerves.

I seriously wonder how I'm going to get through the next couple of weeks without having a heart attack, stroke, or nervous breakdown. I know the stress is taking a serious toll on my body and mind. I'm pretty sure stress is the cause of my migraines and the flare I've been dealing with.  I'm trying everything I can to relax but the constant barrage on my senses is making it impossible.

Do you suffer from hypersensitivity to noise? All the the time, or just when you're flaring? Have you found anything that helps you cope?